Geoff Stahl
It’s been a while, but then things university tended towards life-domination the last few days.
Doing a bit of admin runaround, lecturing, and trying to get myself settled in my new apartment. Bits and pieces are coming in at the moment. First a table, then a chair, then a bed, then another chair, then, today, a couch. I found this last piece in a nice shop in Newtown, an area of Wellington devoted to funky furniture shops and heaps of second-hand places. It was cheap and looks great in the new pad. It’s a pull-out bed, too, so if you feel you need a place to crash, it’s available (I’ll soon have a proper guest bed, too. Don’t fret). I don’t envy the people who have to heave this stuff up six flights of stairs (putting those fabled Montreal staircases to shame, I might add). The guys moving the couch today had to haul it up in the pouring rain (which means the place will smell like damp smoked cat for a few days).
The apartment coming together is a good thing. It’s almost home.
In other news, I was witness to what has gained the almost worthy appellation of “New Zealand’s most bizarre election campaign.” I have to admit it was an odd little affair (and relegated the shenanigans of Canada’s recent no-confidence vote to second place in the race to insert a little intrigue into otherwise flat political landscapes). First off, NZ is still experimenting with a new parliamentary system, MMP (Mixed Member Proportional), which is meant to guarantee smaller parties representation in the govt, and comes reasonably close to looking like proportional representation. For those of you who don’t know them (most of you, I’m guessing, save for those ex-pats who tune in here), here are the major parties who hold seats in the govt (which means they got over 5% of the vote), with notes on their place in the political spectrum:
Labour (centre left, a bit flaccid in terms of progressive policy, but working to preserve what’s left of the country’s welfare state, stumbling over Mãori issues)
National (centre right, looking to revive the ANZUS pact, meaning a pro-nuclear NZ, Kyoto withdrawal if “allies” advocate it, rethink Waitangi Treaty, revoke “special status” of Mãori, “One law for all”)
Mãori (a splinter group of Labourites, born out of that party’s disastrous treatment of Mãori territorial rights, the so-called “foreshore and seabed” debate, which killed Labour in opinion polls and weakened their parliamentary power and strengthened National both publicly and in parliament)
ACT (born out of the Association of Consumers and Taxpayers, which pretty much tells you their politics, far right, neo-liberal agenda, anti-immigration, with a bull-dog as a leader)
New Zealand First (protectionist, populist, centrist, nationalist, born out of disagreements with the National Party, willing to play both sides, introduce two-tiered healthcare, rethink settlement issues regarding Treaty of Waitangi anti-immigration, lower age of criminal responsibility to 12!)
Progressive (leaning furthest left, but still relatively moderate, looking for economic development and a four-week annual leave)
Greens (you know them, accused by National of getting us all to ride bikes instead of driving cars)
United Future (mainly Christian base, anti-civil union, not much of a threat or a presence really, and will lose votes to the “mainstream” morality of National)
(I’m gleaning the following from the Friday Dominion Post). You have 120 seats in parliament. 69 of these are geographic electorate seats (62 are general electorates and 7 are Maori electorates). The remaining 51 are called “list seats,” which are awarded to successful parties so that their share of total seats equals their share of the party vote. In order for a smaller party (say the Greens, or United or the Mãori) to gain representation in the house if it doesn’t get an electorate vote, it must get at least 5% of the party vote in order to be listed. In the big picture this means is that if a govt doesn’t get the necessary majority to rule, they have to form coalitions with smaller parties. Nothing new here, of course (Germany uses a similar system, as do other countries). However, as NZ has a two-tiered system, where on election night you vote for a party and for your local MP, this means that coalition building becomes even more complex and results in the dreaded “strategic voting,” which creates all kinds of strange scenarios where certain party members might get sacrificed in an effort to think about the party’s greater good.
I spent my Saturday night watching things unfold and they were far from uninteresting. It’s been neck in neck for the last week, with various polls putting Labour ahead/behind National (these are the two dominant parties). It was down to the wire last night, with Labour getting 50 seats in parliament, just one more than National.
It’s all bit a much to get my head around, but I’ve sort of worked out how things went (some highlights and a cursory bio of Brash and Clark here). The truly bizarre was only witnessed in the last couple of weeks, where the campaign turned personal and was severely derailed. Helen Clark, incumbent leader of Labour, and Don Brash, head of National, took the gloves off (in a gentle NZ kind of way - the only snakes in New Zealand are found in govt - but they’re not venomous) in the waning days of the campaign. Things went awry when Brash suggested that he took it easy on Clark during the debates because she was a woman. Combine this with email leaks between National members, various kinds of slurs (Clark has been called a “dyke” by National party members, though she is married), all sorts of last-minute bribes (I’ve become fond of the term “lolly scramble” to describe both parties’ shallow attempts to grab voters, gestures which many voters saw as the cynical vote-baiting they were) and things begin to look compelling. That comment, however, was the flashpoint in an overwhelmingly lacklusture campaign waged between the leaders of the Big Two.
That thin-edged wedge of nuttiness seemed to have expanded to affect just about everyone else though, with Tauranga being ground-zero for weirdness during the past week. Winston Peters (New Zealand First), who lost his electoral seat after 21 years, is a rather flamboyant and suave character with a million-dollar smile (and deeply etched, multiple facial crags to show how often he puts it on), who clearly likes to stir things up, while being utterly non-commital and arrogant at the same time. His party, who gained 7 seats in the House, is crucial to any kind of alliance the winning party will seek. Peters was up against the millionaire Bob “The Builder” Clarkson, a man who rarely campaigned publicly (but apparently overspent and probably didn’t make his taxes tally properly) and was this past week revealed to be a lecherous git (something about testicles being bandied about). He harassed a woman some years back and had finnagled a confidentiality agreement out of the whole affair which he recently reneged on. Clarkson is unrepentant and the woman had decided to speak out (Clarkson had said certain things about her claim and her person that she was moved to come out against him publicly). Peters jumped on this, but perhaps too late to save his local seat (note that it’s not clear whether Peters actually lives in Tauranga - he avoids answering the question; see non-commital above). In fact, Peters may have lost simply because of demographic shifts in Tauranga. Once the stronghold of the blue rinse set, the city, the country’s fastest growing, is overrun now with young professionals who are probably more concerned about property values, proper espresso/milk ratios in their lattés, and their cars (roadworks was one of the big issues that Peters failed to deliver on apparently).
Things got stranger on Thursday when a foreigner who was about to be ejected from the country holed himself up in a Tauranga hotel and threatened to blow himself up unless Helen Clark would meet with him. He was subdued before anything untoward happened (no bomb was found).
More intrigue around Auckland, with a young boy “kidnapped” for defacing the poster of Mãori Party member Pita Sharples. The 16-year old boy, hired by the local Labour nominee John Tamihere (and a male chauvinist with a great deal of disrespect for Clark) to put tags up around the city, was caught in the act of putting Labour stickers over Sharples’ posters late one night, shoved into a car and held at Sharples’ house for the rest of the night. Needless to say, Tamihere lost his seat. Though that might have more to do with the fact that he abandoned his cats when he moved house some months back.
In Auckland, during the vote counting Saturday night, someone stole a small plane and threatened to fly it into the city’s Sky Tower. He later opted for the harbour. People were unhappy that their dinners were interrupted.
Perhaps the oddest and scariest moment was when it was discovered that a smear campaign against the Greens and Labour had been organized by the shadowy, cult-like Exclusive Brethren, a separatist religous group with a branch here in NZ (they have branches in Australia as well, and supported Howard’s re-election bids). It turns out Brash had met with Brethren members and had actually encouraged them to pursue their campaign, as he believed the current Labour govt had to be thrown out. The $500 000 to $1 000 000 pamphleteering was a remarkable feat, notable in part because this is a group that doesn’t vote, having pretty much divorced themselves from the rest of NZ (their American cohort threw in about the same amount to support the election of George W.). In fact, they don’t believe in voting; rather, if Labour were to be elected they suggested that “the end of the world,” “The Rapture,” would be upon us. Very scary people. But they fit into a shift to the right more generally in NZ. Slightly scary country.
Favourite remark had to be Brash suggesting that Labour doesn’t speak to mainstream NZ (though it appears the Brethren are a vital part of mainstream NZ, in Brash’s universe), if only because the punchline was delivered a few days later. While looking for furniture in Newtown yesterday (election day), I spotted the slogan, “Don’t be Mainstream,” in a café window. Wonderful stuff.
It’s been said that the winning party will actually be the loser, as the country’s economy is on a downturn and they’re inheriting a “poisoned chalice.” We’ll see. I know the university was scared witless with the thought of National getting in. They sent around an email urging staff to think carefully about their vote (i.e. vote Labour).
All of the above was lumped into a shift dubbed the “Americanization” of NZ politics, which may or may not be an accurate description, but it’s generally seen as a bad thing. It made it fun to watch, though.
In other news, I managed to catch the Mountain Goats on the first night of their New Zealand tour a week back. I had seen NZer Chris Knox open for him (it was just John Darnielle back then) about nine years ago in Boston. He’s gone from a humble performer to someone who loves to regale an audience with tales of sorry-ass shows in strip malls. It was a great night and the audience lapped it up. (Locally, Knox was busy trying to rally the troops in order to ensure Labour be re-elected, as the threat to the arts looked pretty real).
Tunes, then, with more from the recent ripping spree. This one I found for a dollar in the local annual bookfair. I’ve got a great French version of this, too. It’s crispy I know, but that makes it that much better: Miss X - Christine.
Iso G.
